10/16/2024
When you learn new language and try to read a new text, you literally feel like you are in the mist.. you walk very slow or very hastily. Or it’s like you stand in front of the sign which few letter and phrase is missing. Sometimes You are able to get only the hazy intuition of what is going on when your friends is laughing. (It is a blessing that I still can make them smile) You feels frustrated because you never have a vocabulary that is comparable with the broader extent of your mother language. You speak perfect sentence in your head but at the same time, your tongue betrays you with confounding L and R. You are like a newborn baby trying to imitate others harvesting new phrases and words..
11/10/2025
I feel like there some kind of writing that you must write in your mother language. Sometimes english could not convey the deepest sadness that you feel. Maybe that was the reason why I was mesmerized to this new language. Everything doesn’t feel so intense or severe. Everything is covered in veil and it doesn’t come right away to the point it feels painful. And I thought I love that ambiguity, but recently I feel like maybe I would never reach the same understanding with the people who is born in the land of different mother language. Why I need translation for every soul and situation?
12/15/2025
2AM on the last day of the semester makes me emotional, so I have to speak the way I feel. To read in English feels like touching your lover through their clothes. To write in English feels like asking a wandering poet to write your love letter because you would rather have it sound a little corny than having the letter be completely indecipherable. Yet you still try, at least I still do. You touch the body of your lover slowly and patiently to understand the details, trying to imagine how the bare skin would feel. You practice your writing with the same hope, dreaming of the day no translation will stand between your lover and you.